A few years ago, I listened to “The Secret” audio CD by Rhonda Byrne. I would listen to it every day on my 30 minute commute to work. It always kick-started my day off right. I have to say, doing this has changed my life. I am a completely different person now. I’m happy. I’m confident. I actually love myself now. Within 6 months of listening to that, I was a brand new, changed person and for that, I will always be eternally grateful to Rhonda. Through her soothing, sexy voice and beautiful words, she showed me how to change my thinking and therefore, change who I really am, to become more “me!” That can never be a bad thing, right?
When I first starting tapping into my thoughts, to try to replace them with positive intentional thoughts…. well, I realized just how ugly and mean my thoughts were. I hadn’t realized how much power my thoughts had. I didn’t realize how much talking they were doing! They wouldn’t shut up! Negative, negative, negative. And talk about controlling! Sure, they just lived inside of my head and that’s it, right? Oh no. They controlled my mind and therefore controlled my actions which eventually controlled my life. ME. How unaware I was of just how much power they had. They had me controlled by a leash, pulling me around like a dog on a leash. It’s truly sad. What’s really sad is I wasted the first 40 some years of my life like this. Sigh.
Are you curious? What did my thoughts say to me? We all want in on some gossip, right? Ok, I will tell you the scoop! The top two predominant thoughts which controlled me most were: 1). Who do you think you are, Carol? You are never going to amount to any kind of success. You have never earned more than 40K. You don’t drive an expensive car. You don’t live in the suburbs with 2.5 children and a husband. Do you think you are like those successful people? No! You’re not! You have failed at getting into nursing school. You failed at trying to break into the I.T. field. You failed! Failed! Failed! So you think you are going to succeed this time around? Ha hahahha HA!!!! Go ahead, try. I dare you! Try! While you’re busy trying again, it gives me something to do. I will be busy saying, “I told you so!” I will be busy laughing at you and cutting you down. You are such a mess and it’s a full time job letting you know just how much of a mess you are. You know what will happen? Again? FAILURE! It’s your destiny, sweetheart and you are only getting older.
And then there is #2): What makes you think you can succeed at a relationship? Guys just want you for the outside. They don’t care about what makes you, YOU. They don’t care about what’s inside. They don’t care about your mind, your wit, your sweetness, your caring nurturing qualities. Nope. And you can’t bring money to the table. You have failed at that. Remember? Let me remind you. Guys just want arm candy, so that’s all you are good for. Here is what you should do. Let me tell you. Look your best always! Don’t dare gain any weight! Make sure you put on your makeup every day. Make sure you dress cute and hot. Make sure you please them. You don’t want him to leave you, do you? You don’t want him to cheat on you, do you? Because it would be your fault for failing if he did cheat. You must have deserved it. You don’t want him to find someone else, do you? Oh look, he is checking out that other girl. Oh look, he is IM’ing some other girl. Oh look, he is _____ (emailing, texting, calling, flirting) with that other girl. Hmmmmm. You just aren’t good enough for him, are you? You don’t make him happy, do you? Nope. Go. Look in the mirror. Let me show you why he doesn’t really want you. I will be happy to help point out all your flaws. Maybe you can fix them and then he will want you.
Now this is some UGLY stuff. There should be a law against this and people should be put in jail for thoughts like these! Talk about ABUSE! I was abusing myself. Mentally. That’s for sure! I have a feeling I’m not the only one with thoughts like this. And do you know what, girls? Who owns your thoughts? YOU DO!!! Who is in charge? YOU ARE!!! Are you really going to allow THEM to control YOU? Who do your thoughts think they are, to beat YOU up like that? Are you really going to sit there and take it? And then are you really going to concede and then AGREE with them after you have listened to them? Seriously? If we don’t stand up for ourselves, who will? I mean, if you agree with your own thoughts, then everyone else probably will too. It starts a chain reaction. But, if you tell those nasty thoughts to go SUCK IT, and put your own intentional thoughts in your head instead, others will then see the new improved happy you.
“But Carol,” you say, “I can’t control my thoughts! They are who I am!” “They are me!” You think you are your thoughts? Hell no! Thoughts are nothing but years of conditioning…. from society, our parents, advertising, school teachers and classmates, billboards, magazines, “friends”, blah blah blah. They aren’t YOU! You could easily put a voice behind most of your thoughts and it wouldn’t be your voice! If you had a choice, would you really choose to be mean to yourself? Why would you do that? I can’t imagine anyone would intentially be mean to themselves. YOU are ALL that YOU have. Be kind to yourself! Would you say these thoughts out loud and direct them at your kid? “No!,” you say. “That would be really mean and abusive!” Well guess what, our bodies are our inner child. They are our shell used to walk around in and keep us alive. So you want to abuse it? It’s all you have! Be nice to it! It has treated you right for years, in spite of your drinking binges, overeating, lack of exercise and you yelling at it every day. The poor thing. It gets sick from your lack of caring for it and then you yell at it some more. Even after all this, it’s there for you. It never leaves you. It will be with you always. Don’t hate it! Don’t wish you had a different one! How do you think that makes it feel? You think it was created in imperfection? Nope. It’s perfect. Just the way it is
Here is your goal for today. Every time you go to the bathroom, look in the mirror (like I know you do!) and smile. Smile a big, huge smile. Fake it, if you have to. Then wink at yourself. Flirt a little. It feels really great, so try it! Say, Hiya sexy, how’s it going? You’re lookin GOOD today and I love you!!!! The funny thing about this is it always makes me feel better. It doesn’t even matter if I really mean it. Once I say it, well, it’s OUT THERE. It’s a statement! It’s real now! Someone things I’m hot! Tee hee. I start out faking it and then it makes me laugh a little to myself, and before you know it, I’m believing it. Then, turn, walk away from the mirror, remembering that feeling you just created. It feels good, doesn’t it? You have a little spring in your step now, don’t you? You have a little smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye. When you walk out the door of your house, or out of the restroom at work, people will look at you and wonder. What does she have that is so special? Hmmmm. She has something, that’s for sure! I want some of that! Give them a big smile and say, “hello!” and keep on walking. Spread the joy. It’s contagious.
Remember. It all starts with a thought. Remember. YOU are in charge of YOU. So, have a great day! See ya later, sexy!